10 30 2020 Lost in teh Abyss

Chronicles of a Cursed Man 

Today is going to be a very challenging day.  The anxiety is overwhelming.

 

I am just going to have to take it very slow, concentrating on everything I do while conducting business.

 

Yesterday, I just had to deal with the nastiness of one horrible woman. The day was not loaded with anxiety.  There was depression.

 

Good thing is I take Saturday off.  So today, Friday, is for gas and tomorrow is for me.

 

When I used to feel this bad I would focus on fun things to replace the ugly feelings with pleasant ones.  I have gotten to the point where I don’t even rage at the one I consider responsible.

 

I do not care about anything to be upset that every day I loose more.  However, I have to keep making money and paying bills.

 

So today I just have to breath, relax, and not let people get to me. My greatest source of stress is stupid people. If I make money or not, it does not matter.  What matters is that I go to conduct business and I do not cause myself any trouble.

10 29 2020 Lost In The Abyss

 Chronicles of a Cursed Man

 

There has never been a  peaceful day in life. These Chronicles are to document my last days. This not a effort to teach, just to keep me grounded.

 

When I was younger I know I had the right to flirt with women in order to find that Special One I would want to spend the rest of my life with in life.  I also had the right and obligation to build a career in order to provide her and I a good life were we would be able to comfort most of live’s challenges. However, everything I tried has been met and continues to be met with evil.

 

Yesterday, I woke up with the same dread of life.

1. A beer truck driver blocked me as I was conducting business.

2. My cell phone almost ate one order, which would meant a loss.

 

I do find it concerning that interesting when the USA has fallen apart my life is in ruins. I do keep the diet, still exercising, and try to find pleasant enjoyable entertainment.

 

Last week, I started listening to Glen Beck and Rush Limbaugh again. The noise kills the boredom.

 

The goal I am focusing on is to be debt free before I leave planet earth.  I remind myself to not rush things and just manage the money I make. Instead of getting mad cause I do not make what I think I should.  At least I make better than minimum wage.

I know I will have to work everyday of my life.  I rather work, then live of the misery the governments provide.

10 28 2020 Lost In The Abyss

 Chronicles of a Cursed Man

 

This is the first entry into My Chronicle of my last days on earth.  I have been cursed for all my life. It has been a life of one problem after another.

 

Yesterday:

1. Roads were icy. I came around a corner and a truck that had wrecked was blocking the road.  I pressed on the brakes and the engine started revving and forcing me forward. I had to put my vehicle in neutral.  I looked back and some idiot had to go in to the wall to avoid hitting me.  He was “hotrodding” even though the bad weather.

2. I went to pick up an order and the front of the restaurant had 3 people waiting.  Then the area stated filling up. The staff was in the back and not paying attention that to many people were in a small area, no room for social distancing.

I Had to stop outside and wait.

3. I was a goofy romantic movie. Then I realized there is no reason to watch anything since I am not part of life.

 

Today, I still have that horrible dread that something bad is going to happen. At the end of the day I will come back and log the challenges I was faced with today.  I know I can not just stay locked up and hide from whatever is trying to destroy me.

2020 10 19 06 08 25 surviving the apocalypse