November 04, 2020

11 04 2020 Lost In The Abyss

 Chronicles of a Cursed Man

 

It was a horrible day.  I was exhausted from getting enough sleep.  That is one of the elements of what I call my cursed life.  When I do not get enough sleep, feel completely exhausted, cannot concentrate, can barely function, and have chest pains.

 

All of this interferes with ability to conduct business.  I am not obsessed with money, but money pays the bills and I want to be debt free before I leave planet earth.

 

My cursed my keeps me fear of what is next. My life is one bad thing after another.

 

I deal with things by meditating on a strategy.  I think of ways to not let the bad things beat me down.

 

I have lost the pleasure from enjoying life.  I just go through the motions.

 

However, this is not a cry fro meeffort.  I am trying to not get completely lost.  By writing I have to stay in the here and now.

 

Today, I feel that same anxiety. It is going to be a bad day because of the tyrannical democrats stealing the will of the peoplewith voter fraud.  I wont live in a nation controlled by crazy democrats and their crazier supporters.  Time to go to the mountains.

 

I am sort of rested, which means I can sort off think.  I plan to just enjoy the day.  I pushed myself to stay on the diet.

 

Yesterday, on my last order I walked to the house to deliver.  Close to the door I heard a man yelling at the top of his voice in an irrational manner and children crying.  One child sounded like a baby.  The other one was rather small, maybe 3 or 4.

 

The GPS led me to the wrong address. So now I am exhausted, unable to think, have the responsibility of having to deliver the food right, and the responsibility of the children.

 

If I had to get physical, I am to exhausted(physical and mental) to be effective.  I know I have to call the cops.  The man is coming in and out of the house giving me dirty looks.  The customer is on my phone asking about her order.

 

I quickly hit a tail spin in to depression. I was to exhausted to think my way out.  All I could do is limp home.

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